Should Bisexuality be Retired?

Laci Green is the host of Sex+, a youtube channel dedicated to learning and talking about sex freely and in a positive manner. In this episode, she defines her sexual orientation, pansexuality. Yeah, she's so totally attracted to that pan. Check out her stuff! She has a lot of awesome things to say. Go ahead. I'll wait. Okay, did you watch? Good. And now, on to the article.

As Laci Green states in the video I posted, there are various interpretations of bisexuality, including: liking same and different gender, two genders, men and women, or liking all genders.

There's also the emerging term pansexuality, which generally either means: attraction to all genders or attraction by personality.

Whoa! That's a lot of different interpretations! No wonder people get so confused. Laci takes the stance that it's up to you what you define labels as, and that labels don't get to define you. While I agree with that, I'd like to go one step further and say that we really need to take a look at our definitions and start settling on what the words "bisexual" and "pansexual" mean.

To me, I've taken to identifying as bisexual. I'm attracted to either gender/sex (that includes MTF or FTM, genderqueer and intersex), and I'll even like masculine females or effeminate males. I'm aware not all bisexuals feel that way, and some would even tell me I'm pansexual. But let's think for a moment about heterosexuality and its definition, as it's been established and focused on for quite some time now, being the most common and traditionally accepted "norm".

A heterosexual can pretty much like anyone from the opposite sex, even someone whose gender expression falls elsewhere.

(Gender expression and gender identity are different terms. Identity being who you identify with and expression being how you want to dress and act, but not necessarily who you identify as. Cross dressers are an example of gender expression of the opposite gender.)

It seems these days you can even be heterosexual and open yourself up to transpeople who identify with the gender you're attracted to. Or if that doesn't float your boat, you can just identify queer, which has become a catchall as of late for anyone who rejects the definitions all together. Or you could be heteroqueer, someone who both identifies as heterosexual and queer.

So, I don't count gender expression or physical sex in my sexuality. However, what about genderqueers? I'm attracted to people not on either side identity wise. But some bisexuals would just stick with either end of the binary and nothing between or outside of it.

(Again, queer has become a catchall of sorts, and in this case appears no different. If you're genderqueer, you essentially are checking the "other" box when asked what gender you are. You neither identify male or female, but rather something between or entirely different.)

Well, this is where the argument for pansexuality's existence comes in most strongly. Pansexuality includes every gender identity, including genderqueer and that's generally something all people agree on. Then there's intersex, which is a bit like genderqueer only the physical version of it. People who are intersex may identify as genderqueer, male or female, and not all bisexuals would be attracted to an intersexed individual. However, not all pansexuals would either, but many people would consider themselves pansexual over bisexual if they were attracted to intersex.

Then there's people who are attracted to transsexuals (MTF or FTM). Sometimes, due to this, they may call themselves pansexual in order to include transsexuals. However, I strongly disagree with this assumption. I must remind you that transsexuals don't want to be considered "other gender"; they want to be considered as "opposite gender of the sex they were born as". I want my girlfriend to call me her boyfriend. I want to be considered a man, a sir, a he, and not differentiated merely because I was born as the opposite sex I identify as.

I can only imagine that some intersex, specifically those whose gender identity is either male or female, experience a similar reaction to my own. They'd prefer to be considered the gender they identify with, not what sex they were born with. And therefore, these particular people may also find themselves insulted by people having to be considered pansexual merely to be attracted to them.

So again, genderqueer appears to make the best argument for pansexuality, whether that genderqueer's sex is female, male, or intersex.

But for me, I like genderqueer people, yet I still pick bisexuality. Why? Because, well, I'm not certain. I suppose according to my own argument, I'd be pansexual.

I think I pick bisexual for more emotional reasons. It irritates me that some people would solely consider themselves pansexual because they'd date an FTM or MTF, as if they're an "other" and not the gender they desire to be identified with.

So, that finally brings me to the title of this entry. Should bisexuality be retired? Should we just make up some new definitions? As more and more people find themselves constrained by our outdated definitions, will we finally come together and come up with something better?

Only time will tell. Until then, we're all going to have to be a little more specific when we define our sexual orientations.

Love you guys! Lemme know what you think! And if you've got some new definitions, hit me with them in the comments below!

Dick Touching is so GAY

Dick touching. Docking. Sword fighting. Is it inherently gay? Arin Hanson says intent is more important than the act itself.

Arin Hanson (better known as Egoraptor) is the co-founder of the Let's Play/Podcast show Game Grumps on Youtube. On the show, he came out to his friend and co-star Danny Sexbang of the comedic band Ninja Sexparty that he had in fact "sword fought" with another man. What makes this really funny is that Dan, being aware that Arin is a straight man married to Suzy Berhow, didn't even believe him at first.

Here's an animated version of that very hilarious conversation pulled from the GG episode Ninjabread Man.

I highly recommend you check out both of their channels right now! They're 

awesomely talented and also super cool dudes. And nice, really super nice.

For those of you who didn't click the video, Arin explained to Dan that he has in fact "sword fought" with another man, with their actual dicks. An incredulous Dan was then explained about the wonders of the D Club, a little gathering Arin and some friends invented due to being made fun of for being gay, despite being straight. In this club they would prove how comfortable with their sexuality they were by whipping out their dicks periodically to one another and then deciding "nope, still not gay." Occasionally it would become more than that, and one time, things escalated to the point where they used their semi-hard dicks as swords for fun. Dan's reactions to this are absolutely hilarious.

In a later video, Arin and Dan, as they were playing Katamari Damacy, got into a rather heated debate over whether or not touching dicks is "gay". Dan swore up and down that yes, it is, and Arin defended that no, in his experience, it was not a "gay" act, and even went so far as to claim that they should probably have a D Club powwow. You can experience their debate in the following video.

A serious debate on an otherwise hilarious show.

 
If you know me, then you already know whose side I've taken in this argument. In my opinion, Arin is totally right, and I feel Dan's opinion exposes the ignorant fear he was brought up with in western society, its roots in sexual shaming and the idea that the naked body is sinful. No, I'm not offended, but boy do I find it annoying that there are so many people who would side with him. These people are all prisoners of the penis.

Personally, I think a D Club meeting would be really good for Dan.

Rather than explain my point of view directly, as Arin already has so well, I'd like to illustrate it by giving you all some Story Time! In today's tale, you are a heterosexual male raised in the United States, where even hugging can be considered a gay act if done for "too long", and you've got to be careful not to "send the wrong messages", lest you be mercilessly picked on by society, or WORSE, get hit on by a gay guy (gasp).

You've got a really close group of friends and you're all having a sleepover, right? Instead of slowly taking the time to each go to the bathroom to change, you all decide, "fuck it, we're dudes and we trust each other" and all change in front of one another with promises not to look. That becomes the norm due to its functionality.

Then, after some time, you guys joke about how everyone's so scared to look at each other's dicks because it's funny and helps release the tension. Then, you dare people to look at one another's dicks and realize it's just a body part and it's not a big deal. Then, at some point, y'all are so comfy together you hang out naked together as a mixture of a bonding experience (trust building) and confidence building.

At some point, you joke about dicks touching and then you dare to touch dicks, and realize that it doesn't turn you on, but it's hilarious that it's so taboo for straight guys to experience, even though it does nothing bad. The world doesn't end and you're not suddenly gay, and your buddy and you have this closeness because you trusted one another to experience something many people would totally judge you for, and yet you did it anyway, together.

You both weren't turned on at all. The attitude of the room is so jovial because this situation is ridiculous, so like true men, you take it to the next level by sword fighting with your floppy manhoods just to prove how stupid society can be. Nothing bad happens. You're still buddies with the other dude. You don't suddenly gain an attraction to men. It's all... all right.

Dicks no longer have power over you. They're just dicks and you no longer give a single shit over seeing them, or even touching them.

It feels amazing since overcoming fear and anxiety is very good for you. It feels even better because society was wrong, and it makes you feel like the ultimate fearless badass for doing so.


That's all for today. Think about it guys. Who do you side with, and why? Like, comment, subscribe.