Elementary, My Dear Friend

For those of you who haven't heard of CBS's new series 'Elementary', here's a basic synopsis from Deadline.com:
Aidan Quinn is set to co-star opposite Jonny Lee Miller and Lucy Liu in CBS’ drama pilot Elementary. The project, written by Robert Doherty, is set in present day and stars Miller as eccentric Brit Sherlock Holmes, a former consultant to Scotland Yard whose addiction problems led him to a rehab center in New York City. Just out of rehab, Holmes now lives in Brooklyn with “sober companion” Joan Watson (Liu) while consulting for the NYPD. Quinn will play NYPD Captain Gregson who worked with Sherlock at Scotland Yard after 9/11 and was so impressed with his work that he has invited him to work as a consultant to the police in New York City. Gregson grew accustomed to Sherlock’s “eccentricities” in the U.K., but knows they won’t necessarily fly in the Big Apple.

'Sherlock' fans love the Bromance!

It sounds terribly familiar. Isn't there some show going on in Britain like that? Yes, that's right. BBC's 'Sherlock' has been somewhat of a phenomenon over the past few years, amassing a pretty impressive fandom. Just to give you an idea; fanfiction.net has over 20,000 'Sherlock' fanfics, with over 1,000 of them being at least 20,000 words long. Deviantart.com has nearly 50,000 fanart/fanfiction entries (and growing). If you're unfamiliar, which I kind of doubt, here's the synopsis according to TVrage.com.

Based on the books by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, this updated version of the Sherlock Holmes stories is modern, edgy, and dangerous. Set in present day London, Holmes (Benedict Cumberbatch) is as brilliant and arrogant as ever. His loyal friend Watson (Martin Freeman) served in the Afghanistan war as an army doctor. Together, they embark on thrilling, funny, and outrageous adventures.

Anyway, many 'Sherlock' fans (including myself) have been asking why 'Elementary' even exists. 'Sherlock' isn't exactly an easy act to follow. Worse yet, it seems as though it's riding on the popular show's coattails, seeming to expect something of an easy ride.

Maybe it's not that bad. Sure, the plot sounds like something a 15 year old fanfiction writer would come up with. Yes, Holmes looks like a slightly younger Gregory House if he fell asleep drunk in a tattoo parlor. But looks can be deceiving!

What is that thing on his arm?

 Skeptical, I watched the first episode (twice now), and here's my two cents. First, let's judge it solely based on its own merits. The show takes place in a bizarre reality where consultant detectives are called out to what appear to be average break-ins. Sherlock Holmes is more intelligent than the cops, but so is Watson and so am I because the cops are incompetent. Watson is nearly a wallflower, barely even speaking. We all feel bad for her, having to deal with this pompous asshole.

'Elementary's' Holmes is just another antisocial genius jerk combo for the American audience to gobble up, while Watson is there to look pretty, be innocuous and get used. (House and Cutti/Wilson?) To top it all off, at the end of every predictable (and I do mean predictable) episode, the show plays us off with some "witty" or "ironic" music to wrap things up in a cute little bow. I'm getting really tired of this trend; it's been going on for far too long. It's like the modern day laugh track- seriously folks, really?

Now, as a fan of the books, and also of 'Sherlock', I will address a few additional things. Sherlock Holmes and Joan Watson have about as much chemistry as a rock and a melon. I won't even get into Liu's less than stellar performance. I mean, what could she have done to save this plot? Their relationship, instead of being voluntary like in all other reincarnations, is forced. Watson isn't following by request; she's forced to come along. This changes the dynamic without granting us any semblance of a payoff for it. In fact, quite the opposite. Watson looks like a prisoner when Holmes is being a petulant boob to her!

And let's get this elephant in the room over with. John Watson was changed into an Asian woman. Why? Do we, the audience, get anything out of this? No. Does the story benefit from this? It doesn't look like it. In fact, it takes away from Holmes's character since him finding women and sex detestable is suddenly awkward (and relatively meaningless). This 'whimsical' decision has led to a number of plot holes. Can you not choose the gender of the sober companion that's going to live and eat and breathe with you every day? Did Sherlock choose to have a woman tailing him, or did his father? Is Sherlock's father just a mean spirited jerk in choosing a woman? Was he hoping Sherlock would fail?

Regardless, now it's going to have to be addressed and gotten over, right? Is he just going to be a jerk to Watson all of the time now just because the plot needed to be so different? Why didn't they just make both characters women?? Why was Holmes relatively unchanged and Watson just changed at a whim? Why wasn't she brought about until after Holmes had already established himself? It cheapens Watson's worth in the story! The original Watson propelled Holmes by authoring his escapades, and this Watson's just there to clean up the ensuing mess Scotland Yard left him in. (Am I correct to presume that Holmes is in this mess because this series occurs in a parallel universe where Holmes is unfortunate not to meet Watson earlier?)

Also, about the whole Watson the wallflower thing. We're supposed to identify with her, as she is the narrator character, the normalcy that Holmes can be compared to, but it doesn't translate well. Sure, she begins to ask some questions, but her dialogue is so dry and boring. How can anyone see honey dripping from the walls of their place of residence and be so blase? Why is Watson no longer ex-army? Does her being an ex-surgeon having killed a patient, getting fired for malpractice suddenly make her more interesting? I'll answer that. NO!

Also, who in the hell calls anyone by their last names nowadays? Holmes and Watson constantly address each other as such, and its the only antiquated thing that remains, sticking out like a sore thumb. Speaking of sore skin, why does Holmes have a tattoo? No, really. I'd like to know. Is it because he's bohemian? Is it symbolic of something important or is it just there to look pretty?

When making an adaption, changes must be made with careful consideration, as modern tropes will generally cheapen it. 'Sherlock' is an example of a well made adaptation, whereas 'Elementary' is nauseatingly boring and idiotic, pulling from some of the most cliched and uninspired popularity of the past few years.