So, here's a little ramble spawned by my childhood love having been shattered into many little pieces. That, and a little bit too much caffeine.
E3, what an amazing place to be... that I wasn't there for. However, I've been watching Youtube and that's frankly even better. All of the info with none of the noise or human interaction. What stood out most glaringly to me was this Sonic game I've been blissfully (and purposely) unaware of until this point called Sonic Boom.
No, don't get me wrong, it seems er, okay. And it looks well made. Though the level design makes me cringe and I can't help but wonder why Sonic's going around punching and kick- OH GOD WHO IS THAT HIDEOUS DEFORMED GIANT- oh, OH.... It's, oh GOD! Knuckles, what have they done to you?!
Sonic the Hedgehog is like the Britney Spears of video games.
That's right. I said it. I went there. (And I guess that makes Mario like Christina?) Though in all honesty, I feel that's doing Britney a bit of a disservice, considering all of her songs are at least playable.
SNAP DIDDLY OH SHIT.
"But hey," I hear the new school fans remark, "Sonic games haven't been ALL bad lately. Take for instance-"
NO! Just, stop right there you! I'm not saying they've been universally BAD lately. It's more like, "meh" or "eh, all right", or even "at least the glitches make it hilarious to torture your Youtube subscribers with". (The Game Grumps taking on the notoriously buggy Sonic '06 for instance.)
Call me spoiled, but I grew up in the Sega Vs. Nintendo era, a time period when mediocre mascot games just didn't cut it. You blow, you go. Bubsy, I'm looking at you. Don't take that out of context. Anyway, upon first laying my hands on a Sega Genesis controller, I fell in love with the tight level design, simple story and speedy game play. I loved how I could find secrets if I slowed down (that's if I felt like it anyway) and took a look. Then, the next game, Sonic 2, added Tails, who was adorable and could fly! Plus, something you can no longer imagine Sonic without, the "super dash attack", better known as the "spin dash" today. And do I even need to elaborate on the beloved genius that is Sonic 3 and Sonic & Knuckles? No? I didn't think so.
Okay, then, there was Sonic 3D Blast. As a naive child I played the hell outta this game, trying so hard to love it, but there was... something wrong. The controls didn't feel right anymore. Sonic had slowed down immensely. The level design was yawn inducing. The characters introduced were unimaginative, and frankly the transformation to three dimensions was ugly. I actually beat this piece of garbage once or twice, considering it was one of about five games I owned, but honestly I even preferred most of my Atari 2600 games over it.
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| Breakout! Woo! |
However, just because the Sonic Team isn't paying attention to what the fans demand, doesn't mean there's no supply. There's three amazing games that recapture Sonic at his essence. These games are fun, fast, and reward exploration. And they're made by a fan. They're way better than the official Sonic Rush games that are full of unfair level design, such as huge death pits. Not only that, but for some reason, pressing down while running full speed on a ramp suddenly makes you go slower instead of faster! You should really just try an old Sonic game and then try Sonic Rush and you'll know what I mean. But these three games actually feel almost exactly like old school Sonic.
http://info.sonicretro.org/Sonic_Before_the_Sequel
http://info.sonicretro.org/Sonic_After_the_Sequel
https://sites.google.com/site/sonicchronoadventure/
Tell me why this one dude can satisfy plenty of Retro fans whereas the Sonic Team keep shoveling us garbage over and over again!
Deep down inside, I, like many retro Sonic fans, are longing for his return to glory and for Knuckles to quit taking steroids. Eh, well, I suppose at least he's not speaking in a stereotypical Jamaican accent anymore.
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| Even Classic Sonic made mistakes. |
